There’s a really badass scene in The Avengers movie. Captain America says to Bruce, “Dr. Banner, now might be a really good time for you to get angry.” He replies, “that’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.” He then effortlessly transitions into the Hulk and goes to work. You usually see Bruce Banner struggling to contain the Hulk and then transitions come with a lot of stress and agony. His character in the past has been preoccupied with not going green. In this scene the idea of him needing to be agitated in order to Hulk out is thrown away. It’s not agitation, he’s alway agitated. "I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed, like a nerve." It’s his loss of control that he’s really afraid of, control of the Hulk.
For most of my life, before someone ever gave it a name, I've felt like that. Always inhibiting myself and my emotions. Trying to contain myself, afraid to lose control. Afraid of the consequences of acting on strong emotions so not giving room for any emotion. I’m hyper critical, I overanalyze, and am maybe too focused on logic as a means to overcompensate for being so affected by the way I feel. Because of all the things that come to mind when I’m not level, I’m resistant to letting go. The damage to myself, others, relationships, my career, etc. could be irreversible.